Cheating Is…..
This post would bring the subject of gender relations to a close, for now? I suppose? Anyway, one of the mechanisms of exercising power between the genders has been in the area of accessibility to multiple sexual partners. We have been accustomed to the notion that men are cheaters, by default. And that cheating is a measure of curtailing a female partner’s excesses, rendering her needy, clingy, attentive, respectful, submissive, and so on……
However, in recent years, the multifarious cases of paternity fraud against women has erased the previously held asymmetrical notion and created an equality on the cheating field. It has been claimed that “ only the woman knows the true father of her child or children”. It has also been argued that women are masters or mistresses of the game, as they are more discreet and sophisticated in their modus operandi.
Many explanations have been rendered to rationalize the premise of cheating by women which is not the issue of concern here. The issue is that thanks to the patriarchal construct, men have been delusional in the belief that women are weak-minded and incapacitated in the gaming arena. The reason has been that society validates and applauds philandering men, while their female counterparts are vilified and even “crucified”.
In generations gone by, many women bore the pain and consequences of cheating which often wrecked their homes and destabilized family harmony. They prayed, wailed, begged, moaned and cried, helplessly to no avail. The strong women among them took a vengeful stance by giving “an eye for an eye” and “ a tooth for tooth”.
Today, the dynamics are changing! Bluntly, many a woman have declared, “If my man cheats on me, I shall cheat back”. The days of endurance and lack of agency are gone. Clearly, the field has been leveled and moral principles can kick rocks.
So, what does the music say?
In this playlist, few songs contain cheating innuendoes through implicit expressions. The top three cheating songs that I heard on the radio as a child were: Atlantic Starrs “ Secret Lovers”, Clarence Carter’s “ I Got Caught Making Love” and Freddie Jackson’s “ Me & Mrs Jones”. This sister was exposed to adult culture pretty early, at least theoretically.
Kelly Price has some of the most melodious cheating songs ever. Some times, one is lost in the rhythm and enraptured by her vocals, while forgetting the theme of the song(s). The audacious Millie Jackson presents an analytical exposé on cheating in her song “Cheating is..” from the phenomenal album Feeling Bitchy. It comes from an era when female bitchiness was publicly condemned, but somewhat approved in the closet.
Women were expected to adopt a prim and proper conduct in the open like Ms Nancy Wilson, who takes story-telling to another level in “Guess Who I Saw Today”. This song epitomizes the elegance, classiness and sublime nature of Wilson. Despite, catching her partner with his side-chick, she remains cool, calm and collected.
Conversely, male artists like Shaggy promote male denial when caught “red-handed”. Luther Vandross tells us to enjoy the present by loving the one before us, if the “One” is many miles away. KC & Jojo prove that men are incapable and unequipped to handle the idea of a cheating partner in the song “Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum”. This title is traceable to the English fairy tale Jack and the Bean Stalk which expresses anger and blood lust, the very emotions cheating women experience when caught in the act. Stevie Wonder expresses the vulnerability, honesty, sadness and pain evoked by betrayal of cheating.
But, the most astounding and profound song on this list comes from Mint Condition. What man receives an invitation to “come hither” and declines, in a world where women are supposedly “playthings”. This song proves that faulty and sweeping generalizations is the bane of society. All men don’t cheat, and all women are not angels. There are responsible, respectable, disciplined and principled men and women.
ENJOY!
Aaliyah. " If Your Girl Only Knew" One In A Million (1996).
Aretha Franklin. "Willing To Forgive" Greatest Hits : 1980 - 1994.
Atlantic Starr. "Secret Lovers" Secret Lovers (1985).
Clarence Carter. " I Got Caught Making Love" Legendary Clarence Carter (1975).
Destiny’s Child. "Say My Name"The Writings On The Wall (1999).
Dru Hill. "In My Bed" Dru Hill (1996).
Freddie Jackson. " Me & Mrs Jones" Time For Love ( 1992).
Gerald LeVert. "Same Place Same Time" Groove On (1994).
Gladys Knight. "I Don't Want To Know" Just For You (1994).
KC & Jojo Hailey. "Fee Fi-Fo-Fum" It’s Real (1999).
Keith Sweat. "I Knew That You Were Cheatin'" I’ll Give All My Love To You (1990).
Kelly Price. "Married Man" Mirror Mirror (2000).
Kelly Price. "As We Lay" Mirror Mirror (2000).
Luther Vandross. "Love The One You're With" Songs (1994).
Millie Jackson. "Cheating Is" Feelin’ Bitchy (1977).
Mint Condition. "What Kind Of Man Would I Be" Definition Of A Band (1996).
Nancy Wilson. "Guess Who I Saw Today" Presenting Nancy Wilson (1960).
Shanice Wilson. "Stop Cheating On Me" Inner Child (1991).
Shaggy. "It Wasn't Me" Hot Shot (2000).
Stevie Wonder. "Lately" Hotter Than July (1980).
TLC. "Creep" CrazySexyCool (1994).
Toni Braxton. "Talking In His Sleep" Secrets (1996).
Whitney Houston. "Savin' All My Love For You" Whitney Houston (1985).
DISCLAIMER
The Songs on this page are not my property, as such no copyright infringement is intended.
